Clare Calendar 2012

Has it really been a year since my last blog?

Anyway, for the benefit of my many followers, most of whom work next door, the 2012 calendar is now available and in colour. Wow! See you in 12 months.

What's afoot.

I have decided to break my ten month silence to inform the world that I have got deep vein thrombosis from a train trip between Exeter St.Davids and Brighton. That'll teach me to indulge my passion for exotic travel.

Its about the prestige, not the money...

Clare In The Community is the BBC comedy podcast of the week, for which privilege I was paid just over £8. So its important you download it and listen, or it'll be a shameful waste of licence payers money.

And here is next Wednesday's cartoon, for good measure.

Hurrah, I'm back!

Rejoice my followers, more numerous than the sands in the desert, I have returned and with glorious news!
Clare In The Community series 7 begins this morning, 11.30am, on Radio 4 and runs for five more weeks.
Fortunately unemployment is at an all time high, so plenty of people will be able to tune in, but for the rest there is always BBC iplayer.

Hello Again My Legions Of Fans

After a small break of seven months I have decided to blog once again, what with the imminent broadcast of Clare In The Community, Series 7. The recordings were largely successful, most of the jokes hit their targets, the theatre was packed and I managed to get through the whole process without alcohol.
Here are some photos of the cast pretending to concentrate during rehearsals. The photos are my own and therefore crap.

Series 7 is broadcast for six Fridays from the 23rd September at 11.30am on Radio 4!

Brighton Rocks!

Kings Speech

I thought the film was pretty good, actually.

Radio Fun

Here is a very funny joke I drew for The Stage until it was pointed out that I got the name of the actor and the character wrong. Good job somebody checks.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Another year, another Clare In The Community calendar campaign. Not entirely without problems, especially given my decision to finally utilise my mailing list and blanket post everybody who has ever bought a calendar.
Unsurprisingly, quite a few former purchasers have died since its inception in 1989, provoking several angry letters from bereaved relatives. To make matters worse I used some ancient, oversized envelopes found under the desk, which instantly qualified for the Post Offices new "large letter" status, rendering the postage I'd put on insufficient. The grand sum of £1.19 ( 19p extra plus £1 handling) was the surplus people had to pay to receive them, and many paid it because the name and address was hand written ( I thought it would add a personal touch). Despite the whole UK postal system collapsing beneath the heaviest snow for 48 years, one man from the Highlands Of Scotland found time to complain that his calendar hadn't arrived in time for Christmas. By which point I decided, what the hell, I may as well take the blame for the weather as well and sent him another one.
So basically I spent much of the festive season spreading distress, grief, anger and unhappiness like some kind of evil xmas elf.
I still have lots of calendars left, if anyone wants one.